You know what... I absolutley HATE feeling defeated! My initial fleshly feeling is to take on the world by myself, because no one is gonna defeat me! Sounds pretty prideful, hu? Yeah, well, it is... I, in my flesh cannot take on the world, it will be a constant power struggle between me and the world because on my own I will always be defeated. But when I have the Lord on my side I feel stronger... but I still struggle with wanting to take the reigns and protect myself... I have this like mental image in my mind of two dogs we once had... ones name was Sasha and the other Star. Now Sasha was like 4lbs. soaking wet... she was my lil baby... but Star was a huge bear, she was approx. 125lbs... not soaking wet! Well, this picture I have in my mind is lil Sasha barking at an intruder and the intruder look at her like a fly on a wall... but Sasha, she still has a lot of confidence in her bark being very offensive. But then Star gets involved and doesn't even have to bark... but she just quietly stands behind Sasha gives the intruder a look and they run off... and Sasha walks away with a grin on her face like she has just won a battle, barly acknowledging that Star was even there.
So many times I am just like Sasha. I have this pride like I can do things myself, and it in a way, it is a part of what defines who I am, so I take a comfort in thinking that I was the one what won the battle. When all along, God (star) was the only one really fighting.
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