Uncertainty and Restless .... (not a soap opera :-p)

Hello blogger world... such a great outlet to allow my thoughts go into an abyss of numerical codes and magical wavelengths of the information highway... ha! Well this week is a week that is set apart in the community I live in to refocus, get encouraged, and engage with the idea of forward motion in casting vision.... this is a week known as Jubilee. I have been sick for the past week, trying denial, unfortunately these enlarged lymph nodes in my neck don't take denial as medicine. So I have yet to jump in the river corporately in this Jubilee, so I have decided to have my own by myself in this little office on the southwest corner of my house.

I title this entry "uncertainty" because this term seems to be a common topic in my life since I jumped on the "living life by faith" train. An example being... this past year I was a teacher at our Private School here in town... and this next year I don't even have a title to my position yet but it includes Teaching/Fundraising/Counseling/Administration.... not to mention a few weeks ago my younger sister moved in with my husband and I from Chicago, and she will be teaching at our school too. Cody is trying to apply to the state right now so he can be approved to sit for the CPA exam... which is literally a year long test... he is planning on studying around 4 hours daily and that is AFTER work... needless to say, change is a continual way of life... at least its never boring... the crazy part is... these things I tell you here are things that have just occurred in the last month... this is how every month is!! Not even kidding... all that to say.... I am finding myself to be restless and uncertain.

Having my home mentally in this place of restlessness and uncertainty is so... I don't even know... there are no words... words are none.... all I know is that I MUST have heaven break through on a regular basis in this life... because I know that fear is a current that is always desiring to take over... like it NEVER stops knocking at my door, its relentless, the super awesome thing is though... that as I choose to believe and stand on the promises of God breakthrough happens every day... the image that comes to my mind is driving a boat on glassy water... God has me disturbing still waters and as I look behind me there is a massive wake of holy chaos. Needless to say, thus far in being here in Durant, I have found my job to be to stir up "comfortable waters" if you will... people are so content with these glassy waters that they don't know what to do when it comes to change, or "out of the box" thinking... and God loves me so much that he daily teaches me new ways to think... not saying that I am perfect, or that I don't have life in some constricting boxes... but I can purely say that it is my heart to grow and shadder any false image of God that I might have in restricting His love, His depth, His grace, His politics, His heart for me and for others.

Hmm...... you know... for me I love to laugh, and if I ever just need to laugh I get on youtube and watch Olan Rogers... he is one of the guys from Balloon Shop, and he is a person that stretches the bar when it comes to creative words to explain something that simply breaks my box on descriptive terms... yes, its silly, but it is inspiring at the same time as he takes clean dry humor to a place where I find myself more at peace after watching him simply because laughter is often my medicine with this place of uncertainty and restlessness.... another image that comes to my mind is Indiana Jones when he has to take that "step of faith"... haha! Really, I am freaking out, nervous, unsure, want to pee my pants type thing.... yet driven by purpose to take a step that isn't visually there... so crazy! And yes, my husband is in the same boat... and I think that us deciding to do this... to jump into a life of faith, both feet... no holding out... is us choosing a life of uncertainty and restlessness if we don't find certainty in faith, and rest in the person of God. So, the moral of the story is... faith is becoming an actual rock that I stand on ALL the time and trusting that God is who He says He is is the only place that I find rest at all... the part that just blows my mind though is that this is just the beginning!

For those of you who read this blog the rare times that I do post, I thought I would just update you in that no my student loans are not yet paid in full, BUT we were able to bite a big chunk out of em!! And I am still believing for something supernatural to occur in this area... so again be prepared for a testimony in this area sometime!! Also, this next year I am believing for more signs wonders and miracles to surround my life... I have seen two healings first hand this summer, and am excited to function more in that anointing!

So to you... who made it through this whole entry... first of all... cool! thanks for reading! And second of all.... I just pray that God would be tangibly real to you today... I pray that you would know who you are... that you would not be oppressed by knowledge, but free to break boxes and make a huge wake to leave behind by the grace of God!! I love you and I speak life to your day!! xoxo

Heaven is Breaking Through!!

this is me addicted to food network

So yes, as my title tells... my new thing is Food Network.... loving all of the new exposure to foods I cannot pronounce, but can find in the store (as long as they show a picture of it)! ha! Further, I think we have all established that I suck at updating my blog.... however, I figured I would throw out a bone or two and see if I could get any bites. As for the update since my last post, I now live in Durant Oklahoma... and I cannot even begin to explain to you how I never thought I would move to an even smaller town then Abilene! However, good things are happening. Cody is really being recognized for his gifts and talents, and enjoying his job... plus we literally live across the street from the church, so we are able to maintain an active and peaceful family life while working.

Funny story, upon moving here I was praying and desiring to not just find a job, but to go into a job with calling a purpose... and the more I prayed about it the more that I felt like I should be working at the church.... now I am working on a Masters of Counseling Psychology.... and mental health is a HUGE part of the work force up here.... and I am thinking about working at the church?? Well then, I start asking the Lord about where in the church I should be... and I get the feeling that I should be working at the school (which made my fleshly insides curl... never have I wanted to work at a school)... that is almost identical to the high school I went to.... so, I am like great.... I can be the school counselor!.... so my husband Cody and I e-mail the school administrator to see if there are any positions open... she responds with a NO... to my relief I thought I missed God... and was totally okay with it.... then... about a week passes by and the administrator goes running into Cody's office and is almost begging him to talk me into subbing for the rest of the school year (3 weeks left) .... this was at like 8 am and I am suppose to answer her back a 11am.... and I am really loving this stay at home wife role...lol.... well, I end up agreeing to taking over a teachers position in teaching history... now if you are at all familiar with small private schools... the teachers don't exactly just teach one class or one grade... therefore, I had just signed up to teach 7th through 11th grade History..... LOL.... new appreciation for my HS teachers! After getting to know the kids and fudging my way through teaching Oklahoma History (.... I mean, really?!)... I made four different final exams and survived coming in as a sub at the end of school with little to no direction (due to the prior teacher being extremely sick and in the hospital... didn't even get to talk to her)......... so , anyways... in making a long story longer... I am now the new History teacher at Victory Life Academy, they liked me enough in the subbing to bring me on as the 7th - 12th grade history teacher along with taking on the Jr. High performing Arts class... LOL..... I decided that this is just very poetic with my life... and I am going to roll with it! I will only be taking 6 hours this fall, so my school won't be so crazy... and this summer I am learning Oklahoma History... I now know that the Sooners are not just a football team! ..... So now I am just waiting for my e-mail or phone call telling me that I won the HGTV dream home and I am going on a long vacation and paying of my student loans... lol....

commercial is over... time to learn more about food.... lata!!

This is me blogging... ;-D

Here I am laying in bed at 7:51pm totally pooped!! Last week I started a new job. I was a part time tech in the rehab and some how I am now the case management coordinator of the hospital... min. of 40 hours a week.... what am I thinking?? And I am taking 12 hours of graduate courses...prayer and coffee are my bff. Cody and I are still in Abilene... we stayed here in faith feeling as though we were suppose to stay here. However, even though Cody has a masters degree and a 4.0 he has yet to score a job after graduating in December. He still has had that pull for ministry and the Lord is really growing him in his faith and desire to operate in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Therefore we have sort of been in a stand still... yesterday he received two phone calls... one from ACU wanting to interview him for the position of a student service speicalist... basically, the hospitality for the students at ACU. Then, we got another call yesterday that sort of through us for a loop... the church in Durant Oklahoma called us and was looking to see if we were interested in an accounting position along with some pastoral responsibilities starting this summer. Sooooooooooooo..... this sounds like exactly what we have been praying and believing the Lord for.... therefore we might be moving to Durant this summer! haha... crazy! On top of all that... you should google my dad Greg... he is winning an academy award in February!! How awesome is that?? I am so proud of him!! Ok... so I lost my cord that lets me connect my camera to my computer... but once I find it I will put up some pics from work and my new office... it is bigger then my dads at his job that he has been at for 30 years... lol! Anyways, this weekend we are finding out what the sex of Casey and Jenna's baby... woo hoo... a new niece or nephew is on the way! (my money is on nephew).... so... there is my life currently in a nut shell... all and I am learning how to be involved in a new ministry called sozo.... if interested take a look at ibethel.org.... that is it! Blessings and love to you my friend!!

Okay... I go on blogging spurts!

I am so impressed with all my friends that keep up their blogs! Like my girlfriend Mrs. Rachel Carl rocks at blogging~ I mean the pictures and everything... I literally just spent and hour reading and looking at everything new on her site and feel like I have caught up with her! lol... okay, new years resolution... GET BETTER AT THIS!... soooo here is the 411...

I am married... and according to facebook I have been married for 109 days... whoo hoo! lol... I love being married to Cody, what an incredible husband, I will have to post some pictures of our wee little place that I have come to adore so those interested can see our homestead! Umm, our newest adventure is that we are working as leaders in our youth group here in Abilene while being full time students... so that has been fun! I just got a job working at a new hospital here called Reliant Rehab Hospital working as a tech... it is basically the same thing that I did for my internship at the other hospital out here so I am pumped that I will know what I am doing... Cody is working as a tutor and enjoying that... it is about time for him to start applying to PhD programs so if you think about it be praying!

Lessons I have been learning as of late.... moving forward is wonderful, glorious infact!!! And I have always been one to embrass change... but faith and walking by faith has never been so real.... my girlfriend and bridesmaid Michelle was put in the hospital for fungal meningitis (sp?) last month and through prayer God literally moved supernaturally in her body and after just three days quarentined in the hospital she was released... and healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But of course we serve a God that does nothing half way.... she has no health insurance and did not qualify for any gov. health .... so she has spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to pay a 14,000.00 dollar hospital bill with all the tests, scans, and drugs.... and guess what I found out last night?!?!?!? .... the hospital decided to forgive the debt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean WHAT?? Is'nt that crazy!! They had no reason other then that they just wanted to be nice... I don't think you can get more Jesus then that! lol... Praise the Lord we serve a living God... all we have to do is what we can in the natural and then He moves in the supernatural! And we have not because we ask not! Anyways, that testimony totally stirred my faith... so I am believing for something to come through in a supernatural way to pay off my student loans... I mean, I can have them paid off in 10 years in the natural... but why not believe for God to pay them off sooner! As long as I am faithful with what I have and am following where he leads me... why not?!? If my Daddy is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who desires that I lack in nothing... he can pay it off!! Whoo hoo... so, be expecting a testimony from me in the near future of God providing supernaturally for me!!!

Okay, off my kick... but the Spirit of the Lord is stirring in me so deeply to know the character of God on a one on one personal, intimate way... always deeper, ever growing!! Anyways, I will put up some pictures soon of our new lives out in abilene!! I pray blessings and favor over you!!! May the flood gates of heaven shower over you so much that you grow!! =-D

So, I caved... twilight.... yea yea...

Umm... I must confess... I caved and am slowly making my way through twilight.... I saw the movie... and Kristen my sister has already read through all four books (she did that in a week and a half!) so after a year of fighting the conformity in reading the book, I myself am reading it... sorry to all those who I made fun of... my sister included!

Other then that, we are getting together the last few things that come along with getting married... a few showers and such... and making sure everyone that is coming from out of town has a place to stay... but after a month of extra stuff done to my dress, I FINALLY got it!! yeah!! And it is beautiful! So, excited... thus the reason I went to Oklahoma city to get it!! But, anyways, I guess I don't really have a lot to say except that I think God is pretty amazing and very into details... I am going to be rebuking this poison ivy every morning and every night until it goes away... I have decided that I am going to practice what I preach and if Jesus really died on the cross.... and if He really said that we will do greater things in His name.... and if I am going to believe that Jesus really is who the Bible exposes Him to be... then I am going to stand on the Word of God and take my authority! God comes to bring life and life abundantly... standing on the promises of God is the highest mountain ever!!!

Love xoxo

It is official....

I have survived my first semester of grad school... praying for all A's... we'll see how that works out considering if you make below a B in a class your kicked out of the program... sheesh! Anyways, I really enjoyed this semester though... I counted and I wrote about 46 papers, most 8 pages +! Yeah, I was shocked! So anyways, I am excited as I am finally being able to put all my efforts into wedding things, I do not like having my heart divided! So it's 22 days until the big day and I have a TON to do! I am trying to find a band of sorts to play at the reception... that is pretty much my biggest thing I need to do as of this point... and if all else fails, we always have the Ipod, so no stress necessary! Other then that... I am REALLY behind on invitations... and thank yous! So mostly just things that take time... which I have now! Anyways, I am just greatful for all my friends and all the help that people have offered me!! Oh, and wonderful story... Cody and I went and took our engagement pictures... and I got a present... poison ivy! All up my arms neck and legs... needless to say my bridals have been postponed.... and I just pray that this all goes away soon! I am in Dallas and have been for about a month now, Cody is still Abilene, and I miss him like crazy!!! He is working so hard... apparently accounting is not a cake walk! lol... naw, but he will graduate in December... he is taking the GMAT in July and then applying to PhD programs by Aug. first... and then we will see what happens next! If you think of us at all in your prayer time we would really just appreciate prayers for direction in our future as it is really up in the air and a major faith walk!! But we have decided not to stress about it and embrace it with open arms getting outselves excited about the journey that God has ahead of us!! Blessings and love!!

Have a wonderful Day!!!

wedding invite inside

Making my wedding invitations