Uncertainty and Restless .... (not a soap opera :-p)

Hello blogger world... such a great outlet to allow my thoughts go into an abyss of numerical codes and magical wavelengths of the information highway... ha! Well this week is a week that is set apart in the community I live in to refocus, get encouraged, and engage with the idea of forward motion in casting vision.... this is a week known as Jubilee. I have been sick for the past week, trying denial, unfortunately these enlarged lymph nodes in my neck don't take denial as medicine. So I have yet to jump in the river corporately in this Jubilee, so I have decided to have my own by myself in this little office on the southwest corner of my house.

I title this entry "uncertainty" because this term seems to be a common topic in my life since I jumped on the "living life by faith" train. An example being... this past year I was a teacher at our Private School here in town... and this next year I don't even have a title to my position yet but it includes Teaching/Fundraising/Counseling/Administration.... not to mention a few weeks ago my younger sister moved in with my husband and I from Chicago, and she will be teaching at our school too. Cody is trying to apply to the state right now so he can be approved to sit for the CPA exam... which is literally a year long test... he is planning on studying around 4 hours daily and that is AFTER work... needless to say, change is a continual way of life... at least its never boring... the crazy part is... these things I tell you here are things that have just occurred in the last month... this is how every month is!! Not even kidding... all that to say.... I am finding myself to be restless and uncertain.

Having my home mentally in this place of restlessness and uncertainty is so... I don't even know... there are no words... words are none.... all I know is that I MUST have heaven break through on a regular basis in this life... because I know that fear is a current that is always desiring to take over... like it NEVER stops knocking at my door, its relentless, the super awesome thing is though... that as I choose to believe and stand on the promises of God breakthrough happens every day... the image that comes to my mind is driving a boat on glassy water... God has me disturbing still waters and as I look behind me there is a massive wake of holy chaos. Needless to say, thus far in being here in Durant, I have found my job to be to stir up "comfortable waters" if you will... people are so content with these glassy waters that they don't know what to do when it comes to change, or "out of the box" thinking... and God loves me so much that he daily teaches me new ways to think... not saying that I am perfect, or that I don't have life in some constricting boxes... but I can purely say that it is my heart to grow and shadder any false image of God that I might have in restricting His love, His depth, His grace, His politics, His heart for me and for others.

Hmm...... you know... for me I love to laugh, and if I ever just need to laugh I get on youtube and watch Olan Rogers... he is one of the guys from Balloon Shop, and he is a person that stretches the bar when it comes to creative words to explain something that simply breaks my box on descriptive terms... yes, its silly, but it is inspiring at the same time as he takes clean dry humor to a place where I find myself more at peace after watching him simply because laughter is often my medicine with this place of uncertainty and restlessness.... another image that comes to my mind is Indiana Jones when he has to take that "step of faith"... haha! Really, I am freaking out, nervous, unsure, want to pee my pants type thing.... yet driven by purpose to take a step that isn't visually there... so crazy! And yes, my husband is in the same boat... and I think that us deciding to do this... to jump into a life of faith, both feet... no holding out... is us choosing a life of uncertainty and restlessness if we don't find certainty in faith, and rest in the person of God. So, the moral of the story is... faith is becoming an actual rock that I stand on ALL the time and trusting that God is who He says He is is the only place that I find rest at all... the part that just blows my mind though is that this is just the beginning!

For those of you who read this blog the rare times that I do post, I thought I would just update you in that no my student loans are not yet paid in full, BUT we were able to bite a big chunk out of em!! And I am still believing for something supernatural to occur in this area... so again be prepared for a testimony in this area sometime!! Also, this next year I am believing for more signs wonders and miracles to surround my life... I have seen two healings first hand this summer, and am excited to function more in that anointing!

So to you... who made it through this whole entry... first of all... cool! thanks for reading! And second of all.... I just pray that God would be tangibly real to you today... I pray that you would know who you are... that you would not be oppressed by knowledge, but free to break boxes and make a huge wake to leave behind by the grace of God!! I love you and I speak life to your day!! xoxo

Heaven is Breaking Through!!

this is me addicted to food network

So yes, as my title tells... my new thing is Food Network.... loving all of the new exposure to foods I cannot pronounce, but can find in the store (as long as they show a picture of it)! ha! Further, I think we have all established that I suck at updating my blog.... however, I figured I would throw out a bone or two and see if I could get any bites. As for the update since my last post, I now live in Durant Oklahoma... and I cannot even begin to explain to you how I never thought I would move to an even smaller town then Abilene! However, good things are happening. Cody is really being recognized for his gifts and talents, and enjoying his job... plus we literally live across the street from the church, so we are able to maintain an active and peaceful family life while working.

Funny story, upon moving here I was praying and desiring to not just find a job, but to go into a job with calling a purpose... and the more I prayed about it the more that I felt like I should be working at the church.... now I am working on a Masters of Counseling Psychology.... and mental health is a HUGE part of the work force up here.... and I am thinking about working at the church?? Well then, I start asking the Lord about where in the church I should be... and I get the feeling that I should be working at the school (which made my fleshly insides curl... never have I wanted to work at a school)... that is almost identical to the high school I went to.... so, I am like great.... I can be the school counselor!.... so my husband Cody and I e-mail the school administrator to see if there are any positions open... she responds with a NO... to my relief I thought I missed God... and was totally okay with it.... then... about a week passes by and the administrator goes running into Cody's office and is almost begging him to talk me into subbing for the rest of the school year (3 weeks left) .... this was at like 8 am and I am suppose to answer her back a 11am.... and I am really loving this stay at home wife role...lol.... well, I end up agreeing to taking over a teachers position in teaching history... now if you are at all familiar with small private schools... the teachers don't exactly just teach one class or one grade... therefore, I had just signed up to teach 7th through 11th grade History..... LOL.... new appreciation for my HS teachers! After getting to know the kids and fudging my way through teaching Oklahoma History (.... I mean, really?!)... I made four different final exams and survived coming in as a sub at the end of school with little to no direction (due to the prior teacher being extremely sick and in the hospital... didn't even get to talk to her)......... so , anyways... in making a long story longer... I am now the new History teacher at Victory Life Academy, they liked me enough in the subbing to bring me on as the 7th - 12th grade history teacher along with taking on the Jr. High performing Arts class... LOL..... I decided that this is just very poetic with my life... and I am going to roll with it! I will only be taking 6 hours this fall, so my school won't be so crazy... and this summer I am learning Oklahoma History... I now know that the Sooners are not just a football team! ..... So now I am just waiting for my e-mail or phone call telling me that I won the HGTV dream home and I am going on a long vacation and paying of my student loans... lol....

commercial is over... time to learn more about food.... lata!!

This is me blogging... ;-D

Here I am laying in bed at 7:51pm totally pooped!! Last week I started a new job. I was a part time tech in the rehab and some how I am now the case management coordinator of the hospital... min. of 40 hours a week.... what am I thinking?? And I am taking 12 hours of graduate courses...prayer and coffee are my bff. Cody and I are still in Abilene... we stayed here in faith feeling as though we were suppose to stay here. However, even though Cody has a masters degree and a 4.0 he has yet to score a job after graduating in December. He still has had that pull for ministry and the Lord is really growing him in his faith and desire to operate in the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Therefore we have sort of been in a stand still... yesterday he received two phone calls... one from ACU wanting to interview him for the position of a student service speicalist... basically, the hospitality for the students at ACU. Then, we got another call yesterday that sort of through us for a loop... the church in Durant Oklahoma called us and was looking to see if we were interested in an accounting position along with some pastoral responsibilities starting this summer. Sooooooooooooo..... this sounds like exactly what we have been praying and believing the Lord for.... therefore we might be moving to Durant this summer! haha... crazy! On top of all that... you should google my dad Greg... he is winning an academy award in February!! How awesome is that?? I am so proud of him!! Ok... so I lost my cord that lets me connect my camera to my computer... but once I find it I will put up some pics from work and my new office... it is bigger then my dads at his job that he has been at for 30 years... lol! Anyways, this weekend we are finding out what the sex of Casey and Jenna's baby... woo hoo... a new niece or nephew is on the way! (my money is on nephew).... so... there is my life currently in a nut shell... all and I am learning how to be involved in a new ministry called sozo.... if interested take a look at ibethel.org.... that is it! Blessings and love to you my friend!!

Okay... I go on blogging spurts!

I am so impressed with all my friends that keep up their blogs! Like my girlfriend Mrs. Rachel Carl rocks at blogging~ I mean the pictures and everything... I literally just spent and hour reading and looking at everything new on her site and feel like I have caught up with her! lol... okay, new years resolution... GET BETTER AT THIS!... soooo here is the 411...

I am married... and according to facebook I have been married for 109 days... whoo hoo! lol... I love being married to Cody, what an incredible husband, I will have to post some pictures of our wee little place that I have come to adore so those interested can see our homestead! Umm, our newest adventure is that we are working as leaders in our youth group here in Abilene while being full time students... so that has been fun! I just got a job working at a new hospital here called Reliant Rehab Hospital working as a tech... it is basically the same thing that I did for my internship at the other hospital out here so I am pumped that I will know what I am doing... Cody is working as a tutor and enjoying that... it is about time for him to start applying to PhD programs so if you think about it be praying!

Lessons I have been learning as of late.... moving forward is wonderful, glorious infact!!! And I have always been one to embrass change... but faith and walking by faith has never been so real.... my girlfriend and bridesmaid Michelle was put in the hospital for fungal meningitis (sp?) last month and through prayer God literally moved supernaturally in her body and after just three days quarentined in the hospital she was released... and healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But of course we serve a God that does nothing half way.... she has no health insurance and did not qualify for any gov. health .... so she has spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to pay a 14,000.00 dollar hospital bill with all the tests, scans, and drugs.... and guess what I found out last night?!?!?!? .... the hospital decided to forgive the debt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean WHAT?? Is'nt that crazy!! They had no reason other then that they just wanted to be nice... I don't think you can get more Jesus then that! lol... Praise the Lord we serve a living God... all we have to do is what we can in the natural and then He moves in the supernatural! And we have not because we ask not! Anyways, that testimony totally stirred my faith... so I am believing for something to come through in a supernatural way to pay off my student loans... I mean, I can have them paid off in 10 years in the natural... but why not believe for God to pay them off sooner! As long as I am faithful with what I have and am following where he leads me... why not?!? If my Daddy is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who desires that I lack in nothing... he can pay it off!! Whoo hoo... so, be expecting a testimony from me in the near future of God providing supernaturally for me!!!

Okay, off my kick... but the Spirit of the Lord is stirring in me so deeply to know the character of God on a one on one personal, intimate way... always deeper, ever growing!! Anyways, I will put up some pictures soon of our new lives out in abilene!! I pray blessings and favor over you!!! May the flood gates of heaven shower over you so much that you grow!! =-D

So, I caved... twilight.... yea yea...

Umm... I must confess... I caved and am slowly making my way through twilight.... I saw the movie... and Kristen my sister has already read through all four books (she did that in a week and a half!) so after a year of fighting the conformity in reading the book, I myself am reading it... sorry to all those who I made fun of... my sister included!

Other then that, we are getting together the last few things that come along with getting married... a few showers and such... and making sure everyone that is coming from out of town has a place to stay... but after a month of extra stuff done to my dress, I FINALLY got it!! yeah!! And it is beautiful! So, excited... thus the reason I went to Oklahoma city to get it!! But, anyways, I guess I don't really have a lot to say except that I think God is pretty amazing and very into details... I am going to be rebuking this poison ivy every morning and every night until it goes away... I have decided that I am going to practice what I preach and if Jesus really died on the cross.... and if He really said that we will do greater things in His name.... and if I am going to believe that Jesus really is who the Bible exposes Him to be... then I am going to stand on the Word of God and take my authority! God comes to bring life and life abundantly... standing on the promises of God is the highest mountain ever!!!

Love xoxo

It is official....

I have survived my first semester of grad school... praying for all A's... we'll see how that works out considering if you make below a B in a class your kicked out of the program... sheesh! Anyways, I really enjoyed this semester though... I counted and I wrote about 46 papers, most 8 pages +! Yeah, I was shocked! So anyways, I am excited as I am finally being able to put all my efforts into wedding things, I do not like having my heart divided! So it's 22 days until the big day and I have a TON to do! I am trying to find a band of sorts to play at the reception... that is pretty much my biggest thing I need to do as of this point... and if all else fails, we always have the Ipod, so no stress necessary! Other then that... I am REALLY behind on invitations... and thank yous! So mostly just things that take time... which I have now! Anyways, I am just greatful for all my friends and all the help that people have offered me!! Oh, and wonderful story... Cody and I went and took our engagement pictures... and I got a present... poison ivy! All up my arms neck and legs... needless to say my bridals have been postponed.... and I just pray that this all goes away soon! I am in Dallas and have been for about a month now, Cody is still Abilene, and I miss him like crazy!!! He is working so hard... apparently accounting is not a cake walk! lol... naw, but he will graduate in December... he is taking the GMAT in July and then applying to PhD programs by Aug. first... and then we will see what happens next! If you think of us at all in your prayer time we would really just appreciate prayers for direction in our future as it is really up in the air and a major faith walk!! But we have decided not to stress about it and embrace it with open arms getting outselves excited about the journey that God has ahead of us!! Blessings and love!!

Have a wonderful Day!!!

wedding invite inside

Making my wedding invitations

HE is the desire of my heart

These are some pictures that we took when we went to Branson over Christmas break at our Cabin... the terrain there is just beautiful!!

Other then school (which is going really wonderfully!) life has been so much fun... totally challenging... but what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger... right?!? haha... naw, it hasn't been bad at all just busy and I am doing my best to choose life when it is tempting to choose defeat! So cool though... God is just so incredibly faithful!! I am writing you from my brand new laptop that was free and a blessing from God... okay, not many people read this anyways so I will just share... sooo, as you know I'm getting married thus implying that I am trying to get my house in order to look the way I want it to look! Well, see my wonderful fiance has a fettish with reallly awesome, but really LARGE speakers that I did not want in my future tiny house... it was literally two pillars of speakers on either side of the TV standing about 7 feet tall from the ground... anyways, so I have been strongly encouraging Cody to look at some new significantly smaller speakers... well as I have been worried about all of this superficial stuff Cody has been spending A LOT of time just being alone with God trying to learn how it is that one can truly delight in the Lord... soooo.... he had counted his monies in what he was going to buy the new sound system with and what happens?? But my computer poops out... :-\.... which is really not good because all my classes are online!! ... so Cody decided that he was going to take that money and buy me a new computer instead... well, that very day he got an e-mail from "my coke rewards" and it said "grand prize winner" ... he was going to delete it because those things are always a spoof right... well... he opened it for some odd reason and it took him to the coke site... low and behold he won a drawing... and it was for 5,000.00 to best buy!! LOL... it was so awesome, we were still a little leary about it after we sent in the paper work but a week later we got the gift card in the mail!!! haha!!! And if you look back in some of my posts I talked about how Cody was playing the McDonalds Monopoly game hoping to win the 100,000.00 grand prize, and I was making fun of him... but, that is where he signed up for this drawing!! Haha... therefore Cody was able to choose whatever sound system he wanted and I was able to get a new laptop all from Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!! See, delighting yourself in the Lord is so wonderful because He says that when we do that He will give us the desires of our hearts!!! And the best part was that after we did all the things we did with that money... having stuff wasn't the fun of it... it was being able to give.... and just know that God is always here... monotary things will never satisfy, this computer will one day poop out too... but that doesn't change the fact that God is still faithful and wants to open the floodgates of heaven and pour out blessings on His children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh.... I can't imagine living life any other way!!!

UPDATE time

Wow, so it is February 1st and 104 days until I get to marry my best friend... I am so excited! Well, today I am in Abilene, tomorrow who knows where I will be... I am kindof drifting homelessly right now as Brittney is really enjoying having the house in Abilene all to herself, all my stuff is at Cody's and in storage... so I am living out of a suit case pretty much until I get married, so you will have to excuse me if you see me wear the same outfit multiple times in a row... haha! Well my masters program is going wonderfully! I am really enjoying it and loving the convieniance of online classes... and psychology was the perfect path for me to take! Praise the Lord... well God is up to some awesome things... and let me tell ya... He just want's to open the flood gates of heaven and bless his people... he says that if we delight in Him He will give us the desires of our heart... so I have been having fun delighting in the Lord and the desires of my heart are just overflowing!! Sooooo cool! No better way to live! Anyways, I will have to get back on soon and maybe put up some pictures... but know that Jesus loves you more then you could ever know and it's important that we not only believe that but recieve it too!! half the battle is beliving that God is actually as good as He claims to be!! wierd! xoxo... peace love and Jesus!

playing around new scrap blogger

Oh Happy Day!

Sooo... life in my side of the world has been a little bit crazy... We had to put peanut my teacup chihuahua down yesterday, her poor little kidneys were failing =-(... but it was a great 5 years with her!! Also, a dear old man from my old church was in the hospital last week when I was doing my hours for class and I got to visit with his wife (Doris) but, the dear old man (Sam) passed away on Sunday I am sad to report, but the good news is, he knew the Lord and he loved God with all his heart! So now he is dancin with Jesus, but I know Doris is taking it pretty hard, so please keep her in your prayers. Other then that... I graduate in a little over 4 weeks... PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is if I can pass this physics class that is royaly kicking my butt at the moment... but the wonderful Cody Maynard has made it his personal duty to tutor me (AHHHH... I am so thankful!) But other then that Cody and I found a house that we like and he is going to be moving in within the month... eh hem... (no ring yet... =-D)... but, the Lord is good and His timing is perfect! Anyways, I suppose that is all that is going on in never never land abilene... oh, another prayer request, a friend of ours son died yesterday of a heart attack caused by a blood clot... he was 23 and in his first year of optimoligy school... your prayers are coveted... it is the Allen familiy. Anyways, until later... blessings and love!

God is always in a good mood! =-)

I am so so so blessed! I have been home to see my parents the last two weekends helping with some home renovations and I have fall break this weekend so I am headed back again! =-) I love home... my parents are awesome, and Kristen and Daniel (my sister and brother-in-law) just moved in with my parents... kindof-- they turned our huge garage into an apartment sort of thing-- and they are starting construction on Wed. for a new garage slash half barn for the horse and goats... (yes, I said goats... a few weeks ago my brother went an bought two goats... they are so funny they were raised by hand so they think they are dogs and they follow you around like crazy one of them even licked me last week)... when I leave my family starts a farm! lol... but we do have a baby calf that is soooooo cute-- but she won't let us near her-- anyways, I will have to post pictures after this weekend, but the neatest thing about Kristen living out in the boonies with my parents is that her kids Ethan, Meranda, and Ty are out there too!! I get to see them every time I come home-- they are PRECIOUS! Again, I will have to put up pictures later! But, anyways, God is just so good and I have so much joy in my life especially as of late-- Joy is ALWAYS available, it is just harder sometimes to find it, but the Holy Spirit seeks and desires to bless us... God is in a good mood and I was not baptized in lemon juice! I have liberty and freedom and I will not succom to the things of the world-- because the supernatural world is so much better! haha... love love and pics coming soon!

I LOVE OLD PEOPLE!!

So trusting in the Lord is getting more and more awesome... really! So, I am taking this class at the hospital, and through it I am a student chaplain there, it has been stretching but good.. . anyways, yesterday I went into this room with this elderly lady (89 yrs old) she broke her leg...well she and another woman visitor were sitting in the room and lit up when I came in, so I felt really welcome (which was nice!)... we talked small talk for a while then it started getting a little awkward... so I started praying and asking God what I should do... and some scripture from Titus came to my mind... about the older women teaching the younger women how to love their husbands... so, I began asking them about their husbands who have both passed away.. it was some wonderful advice so I thought I would share!

**Always choose love, when its hard, get over it and choose love

**Serve, when you don't feel like serving them, do it anyways

**Keep a tender heart for them, always be willing to change your perspective to encourage them where they are at and not for where you wish they were

**When you get angry, smile, go out onto the back porch scream, smile, come back inside and hug your husband until you feel love for him.

**Cherish the little things

Talk about awesome! These women were talking about how they lived as wives during the great depression and said that they were broke beyond what I could understand, and that they were just as happy then that they were in the prime of their work... they said that finances are NOT what determines the joy that a young couple is capable of having... their attitude is... to laugh, they lived very joyfully and laughed often... she noted that there is more money in the US then there has ever been and yet there are more divorces then ever in history...

So, anyways, for those of you married or unmarried I thought that this would be neat wisdom to absorb! Well, I am going to go watch the 700 club with Cody... hehe...gotta love Pat Robinson! love, peace, and Jesus!

Growing Up = Responsibility = Trusting God = Amazing!

WOW!! The last three months of my life have been kinda crazy... I have gone from changing my entire career path, to taking physics (the devil), to making future plans with Cody (yeah!!)... and here is my conclusion.... TRUSTING GOD is both entirely freaky, and the best thing I could ever do! So, where I am at right now, is applying to graduate school in clinical psychology (after this I might need to see a psych! jk) , I am actually applying with my Mom, so we would do our masters together, which would be a lot of fun I think! So I am sitting on and waiting for my acceptance letter! Cody is applying to the ACU graduate program in Accounting, God has transformed his mind into going on to further education vs. working for an accounting firm, which is cool, he is looking and planning on becoming a professor, so he will be moving to lubbock next year to start the PhD program which means I will be moving to lubbock next year (fingers crossed!!!) ... wink wink! I think we thought we weren't far enough from civilization, so I thought I would follow in Smithy's footsteps! haha... but then I have been slapped in the face with reality... if (when) we get married, what does one do about health insurance, as two full time students?!? And how do we pay bills?!? Living on love is a very romantic thought, but, uhh... call me a realist... but, electric companies don't care so much about the mushy love stuff! So anyways, I am doing my research.... and praying, and trusting that if we are on the path that God has called us to, He WILL provide! Sooo... Cody has been playing the McDonalds Monopoly... lol, hoping to win the 100,000.00.... haha!!! Anyways, growing up, wierd, I never thought I would be concerned about not having health insurance-- bam! Wow, slap! So to any of you reading this, I would really appreciate your prayers!

But, I must say.... God is so faithful!!!!! It is my nature to be a planner... and when things don't look like they will be just right it is easy for me to stress, like to the point of my hair falling out... But God has given me peace... seriously... just as David, prayed (ps. 51) "resore unto me the joy of my salvation"... I feel restored in that!!! My joy is complete... in knowing that my future could be in no better hands... so here I go... practicing what I preach in living my life walking on the water... taking steps of faith... doing my best to hear the voice of God... man, I don't know exactly how, but I want to... and I am desiring the heart of God more then ever... I keep declaring over my life the quote: "I will not be moved by how I FEEL, but by the Word of God"... amen, and amen... so even though I have a physics test tomorrow (which I like to consider and attack from satan)... I can dance on that test, because I can trust that I have the ability to overcome that test, because greater is He that is IN ME, then he who is in the world!!! It is through Christ that I am made victorious!! So be encouraged, because He that overcame the world, the grave, sin, and death... lives within you today, He desires to withhold no good thing from you... I encourage you as teachers... get to class a little early, pray over those seats where those little ones will be sitting, your days will change! You in the buisness work place... get to work a little early and pray over your office... the atmosphere will change!!! =-).... God IS FAITHFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Physics.... simple???..... lies, all lies!!?!?

So, I got my Physics test back today... not pretty... although I have never been so proud of a C... haha... I have taken the initiative and gotten cable and internet... the first time I have turned on my TV for a year and a half... just in time for finding out what in the world is going on with our economy... Lord help us all!! geez... what a crazy situation... props to McCain though... bravo on the campaign strategy... even though the other day the poles he was at 42% and Obama 58%... a man hasnt come back from being down in the poles this far in the game since 1949! Sad, day... I really like McCain... time to pray! So I am also in this Intro to Hospital Minisry class for my last upper level Bible class... and basically we are student chaplins... it is called experiential learning, we are not trained really before... we just go into patients rooms by ourselves and talk with them... yesterday, I went into my first prisioners room... it was crazy, there were guards everywhere and he had handcuffs on... I felt like I was in a movie... he looked just like the goofy sidekicks in movies... he was short, chubby, shavedhead, with black framed glasses that were to small for his head! But we had a great prayer time! After the hospital Cody and I went with Love and Care minisries for our first homeless outreach outting together... it was awesome, we just handed out food at homeless camps and to guys along the train tracks and everything... everyone was drink by 6, extremely entertaining, and fun to be able to give them something to sober them up a bit so we could love on them... it was heart!! Anyways, Cody has two interviews next week.. One with Whiltey Penn (Wed.) and the other with Ernst & Young (Fri.), I think the Whitley Penn one is the one he will go with if he sticks with a job in Acct. ... he will be in Ft.Worth right next to TCU... I talked to Amanda Owens the other day asking her about where to live and the cost of living... so that was really nice to hear from her! But, anyways, time to get back to writing my Non-Fiction Paper...Brittney and I have a meeting tonight with CMDA (Christian Medical and Dental Association)... basically we get to hear the testimonies and life stories of local community doctors, dentists, nurses... ect.! So that is what is going on in the life of Crystal... cheeze!

Hole in the wall... bottomless coffee... amen!

Here I am sitting at a little hole in the wall coffee shop that has the best coffee in town... it is like the art district of Abilene and there is some very deep art all around me... it makes me want to paint,or write, or I don't know... be deep! But it got me thinking about how our atmosphere often dictates our natural mood or feelings... it is when we are in a gloomy setting where we have to choose to be bright and shiny... As Meredith Grey would like to think of herself... I think that is why the Bible encourages us to choose life... no matter where we are we always have the option of our attitude toward whatever our circumstances might be... so I encourage you... blogger... choose life, choose joy... when things suck... smile... go against your natural tendency to succom to the norm... everybody can adapt to their nature... but it takes God and true peace to be more to expect more out of life... out of yourself...life is good, especially in a modern art hole in the wall bottomless coffee shop... peace

I am in a Summer I course... "Drug Education"... I felt less ignorant in Cardiovascular Physiology!!.... I know nothing about street drugs... I didn't even know that there was a difference between heroin and cocain.... needless to say... I feel kindof incompetent everyday of class... but thats okay, because that is just my flesh... and I know that my ignorance can open a door for someones deliverence!!
Amandas wedding is this weekend... then Smithy's is coming up the early part of this fall... it's funny... there have been at least 12 weddings since school let out of friends on mine... crazy... I feel like a kid with a bunch of grown up friends... not in a negative way, but just that I have so much more school ahead of me it feels like I have been held back a few grades... I love it, I wouldn't have my life any other way, it's just a odd phenomenon.....
I met a guy named Forrest last week.. it has been a really long time since I have encounterd someone with such a fresh sincere brokeness towards the things of God... he has been to hell and back it seems and has a very realistic idea of the power of Jesus Christ... he was so encouraging... he kept of saying how happy he was to meet Cody and I, but I couldn't help but be incredibly blessed by his presence, I wanted to be around him... he didn't pretend to know everything, he knew that God was the answer to everything, he doesn't even know it, but with his attitude -- he could have a serious impact on our generation! He is one of those people you look at and think to yourself... "that guy is cool without even trying"... and you just want to meet him... but he is super humble.... wow, I think sometimes that I have come so far... that I can do so much because I am a good little girl that loves God... but the truth of the matter is... my 22 years of being a "expert" christian is totally challenged by a young man that has known God for 6 months... I have clearly NOT arrived.... I have far to go, and alot to discover and know... so I end these thoughts with a prayer...

God, I know I am your daughter... I think that is so awesome that I can say that and understand it to some levels, teach me how to opperate out of the gifts that you have given me... teach me how to submit myself to others and love beyond my natural ability... Through your Holy Spirit I have power... the same power that was in Jesus as he walked on the earth... it makes me a little nervous to know that, because I know that very few people in the world will understand that... but God I ask for boldness, not emotion but the ability to speak TRUTH in love as you lead and guide me! I want to understand your Word in the depths of it... teach me about YOU God... open my ears... silence the world around me and give me supernatural ears to hear You... I want to do what you want me to do, I want to say what you want me to say... I desire for you to not be my top priority but for you to be THE priority in everything that I do... be the core of me God... be my all and my everything.... and I ask that you would be with me in class today, I don't know very much in this class, but I know that you are with me and I pray that I can be a light, that I can speak truth, and that I will be supernaturally wise in my thoughts and words! I love you God... be my core!!

You could say it has been a while...

I think it has literally been a year since I have been on here... wierd... today has been a strange day... I find myself kindof drifting in my thoughts... it's been difficult to remain focused... school is good... hard but good... life is good... challenging at times but all the while God remains my constant... what a relief... to know that He is unchanging... never ending... He is my all, my everything... my life sustainer... God I give you my thoughts... my drifting ones especially... I ask that you would show your mercy.... your powerful grace.... your unending and undeniable love... God, I ask that you would show me you!!

The Lord calls us to come away as His beloved... He desires to be intimate with us not in a wierd way but in a way that He longs for us to be in His presence... I am challenged... to go... be with God... in a vulnerable and personal way... in a way that I don't have to explain, I can't explain... CONCLUSION: GOD IS GOOD... and He is in LOVE with His children!!!